That's Just Who I Am

“How dare you?”

That voice in my head echoed sharply as I sat across from my friend at lunch while they poured out their story of hurt. I had gone through something similar a while back. The wounds were healing—but not all the way healed.

“Who do you think you are, trying to help?” I thought again. It was my own voice—familiar, cynical, sharp. We've had years of history together.

It shows up often. Before I stand before a congregation. Before I walk into a room to lead. Before I sat down to write this blog post. It chimes in, condescending and sharp, reminding me of what an impostor I am.

And here’s the truth: If we compare ourselves to who we used to be, we are all impostors. But the voice in my head always gets one thing wrong—it only knows who I was, not who I’ve become.

That voice is not the voice of God. It’s the voice of the enemy. And their favorite phrase is:

“That’s just who I am.”

We say it with a shrug. Sometimes with pride. Sometimes with resignation. It sounds like acceptance, maybe even self-awareness. But beneath those five words, there’s a hidden trap—a quiet agreement that for all of our growth, we are stuck. Stuck with our anger. Our abuse. Our trauma. Our shame. Our fear.

But Jesus never once said, "That’s just who you are."

Everything about the Gospel (and perhaps the entire span of Scripture) is rooted in change. Not surface-level improvement, real transformation. The old dies. The new rises. Dead hearts beat again. Broken lives are reborn. The person you started as is not the person God is forming now.

The enemy thrives on the phrase, "That’s just who I am," because it keeps us trapped in our past. It locks the door on growth and lets shame whisper lies through the cracks. It tells us that healing is impossible, that freedom belongs to someone stronger, someone better. It insists that we are forever defined not only by our worst day, our worst moment, our worst decision, but by the horrible decisions that others made for us, about us and to us.

That is a lie.

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” (2 Corinthians 5:17)

This is not a suggestion. This is truth. In Christ, transformation isn’t optional—it’s inevitable.

At Mending the Soul, we say that discipleship is not about achieving perfection. It’s about engaging the journey. It’s the daily choice to embrace the new and surrender the old. It’s gritty, holy defiance against the lie that says, "I'll always be this way."

Jesus didn't come to confirm your identity as broken, wounded, angry or afraid. He came to restore your identity as beloved, whole, and renewed into what He sees in us.

Peter denied Jesus when it mattered most. If anyone had a reason to believe he was a failure, it was Peter. But Jesus didn’t discard him. He restored him—and called him to lead.

Paul persecuted the Church. He hunted Christians. He spread terror. But when Jesus met him, He didn’t turn away. He transformed Paul and made him a builder of the Church he once lived to destroy.

You are not stuck. You are not beyond change. And you are not defined by who you used to be.

The Gospel doesn’t invite you to stay where you are. It commands you to rise.

So when you hear yourself say, “That’s just who I am,” stop. Ask God who He says you are. Ask Him what He is renewing, what He is calling forward, what He is making new.

You are not finished. You are not fixed in place. You are a work of redemption in motion.

What the enemy says vs. what God says:

• The enemy says: “You’ll always be broken.”
  God says: “I am making all things new.” (Revelation 21:5)
• The enemy says: “You’re too far gone.”
  God says: “Nothing can separate you from My love.” (Romans 8:38–39)
• The enemy says: “You’ll never change.”
  God says: “The old has gone, the new is here.” (2 Corinthians 5:17)
• The enemy says: “That’s just who you are.”
  God says: “You are My workmanship, created for good works.” (Ephesians 2:10)

The enemy uses your past to condemn and shame you.
God uses your past to showcase His redemption.

Do not agree with the voice that wants to keep you chained. Align yourself with the truth that sets you free.

Stay rooted. Stay bold. Let go of the old. Step fully into who God is making you.