From Structure to Freedom: My Journey with Expressive Art

I want to share my journey of shifting from structured art—realistic painting—to expressive art, where I allow what I feel inside to spill out onto paper or canvas. Expressive art can take many forms, but this was my first introduction to it.

A few months ago, my sister Joie, who is an artist, guided me through an exercise to help me “express” what was inside of me. She had me choose three colors each of pencils, markers, and paint. With my eyes closed, I picked up a pencil, took a deep breath, focused on what I was feeling, and began to draw. Then, switching to my non-dominant hand, I repeated the process with the other two pencils. When I opened my eyes, what I saw was nothing like what I thought I had drawn.

We moved on to markers, and then to paint. This time Joie asked me to hold the brush at the very end of its handle so that I had little control. It felt awkward, but as I painted, something shifted—I realized it was “okay” not to know exactly what I was doing.

When I stopped, Joie asked if I felt finished. I wasn’t sure—how do you ever know when enough is enough? Looking at the piece from different angles, it still seemed incomplete. Finally, I dipped my brush in white paint and flung some across the paper, watching the diluted drips run down. That’s when I said, “Now it’s done.”

It was a beautiful mess—and that beauty had come from me. It reminded me of all the messes I’ve endured in life, yet even in them, I am still beautiful… a mess, but a beautiful mess.

Joie asked why I thought it was so hard. With tears in my eyes, I realized my art reflected my life: I grew up being told what to do, when to do it, never allowed to ask questions—only to get it done and make sure it pleased others. My art had carried that same weight.

But this was different. This was mine. It reflected what I was feeling. It was healing.

I still enjoy structured art, but I’ve also begun art journaling. Through it, God has surfaced long-buried pieces of my childhood and brought healing in places I didn’t realize were stuck. This happened just weeks before I began working through the Explorer book with my facilitator cohort, and it has also become a valuable part of my counseling journey.

I’ve learned expressive art doesn’t have to be abstract—sometimes my journaling looks childlike, and that’s perfectly fine. Perfection isn’t the point. Healing is.

Why is abstract art difficult for so many people? Often because we want to please others or stay in control. I’ve heard people say, “I just can’t get what’s in my head onto paper,” or, “I get extremely nervous if I can’t be in control.” Using the non-dominant hand makes it even harder because it forces us to let go. Yet that’s the beauty of it—it engages different neural pathways, bypasses habitual thinking, and opens space for self-discovery.

Here’s what I’ve come to believe: we are created in the image of God, the ultimate Creator. If He creates, then so do we. Expressive art is one way He can meet us in our healing journey, helping us grow, uncover what’s buried, and give voice to feelings too deep for words.

-- Phyllis Osborn