Everything Happens For a Reason
Stuff Jesus Didn't Say
It is one of those things people say when they don’t know what else to say. To someone who is hurting though, those words are hollow and heavy, like a door slammed shut on their pain. Instead of offering comfort, they leave the wounded feeling unseen, unheard, and even more alone.
When the diagnosis comes. When the relationship shatters. When the dream dies. It’s offered like a bandage, hoping it will somehow soften the blow. But for the one who is hurting, it doesn’t soften anything. It stings. It cuts deeper. It feels like their pain has been dismissed, their suffering minimized, their heartbreak ignored.
Here’s the good news, Jesus never said "everything happens for a reason."
In John 11, when Jesus approaches the tomb of His dear friend Lazarus, He doesn’t pat Mary and Martha on the back and say, "Everything happens for a reason." He weeps. He mourns. He lets His heart break alongside theirs.
Jesus didn’t dismiss their pain. He didn’t offer shallow comfort. He entered into it.
At Mending the Soul, we say that healing begins when we face the truth. Steve and Celestia Tracy remind us, "Healing begins with truth, not denial. We must name the reality of evil and suffering in order to experience genuine redemption." Healing can’t begin if we try to explain away pain or minimize suffering. It begins when we grieve honestly, name evil for what it is, and allow God to meet us there.
Romans 8:28 tells us, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." It doesn’t say that all things are good. It says that God can bring good even out of the worst things. That is redemption. That is hope.
Everything doesn’t happen for a reason. Some things happen because we live in a broken world. Some things happen because of human choices that wound and destroy. Some things happen that are the direct result of evil. Some things will never make sense from our limited view.
Maybe you are wondering, "Why did God let this happen?" or "Why did God do this to me?"—know this: God didn’t create the abuse. He didn’t orchestrate the betrayal. He didn’t will the suffering that wounded you. Evil breaks His heart even more than it breaks yours.
Consider the story of Joseph in Genesis. Betrayed by his brothers, sold into slavery, falsely accused, and forgotten in prison, Joseph’s life unraveled in ways that were neither fair nor good. None of it was authored by God. Yet when Joseph stood face-to-face with the brothers who had wronged him, he said, "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives" (Genesis 50:20). God didn’t cause the evil. But He didn’t waste it. He took the torn threads of betrayal and wove them into a tapestry of redemption.
This is the promise: Nothing is beyond the reach of God’s redemptive love. No pain is wasted in His hands.
When we grieve with honesty and hold our brokenness before Him, He weaves even the shattered pieces into a story of restoration.
If you are carrying pain today, know this: You do not have to pretend it is all part of a tidy plan. You are allowed to weep. You are allowed to be angry. You are allowed to mourn what should never have been lost.
And when you do, you will find that Jesus is already there, weeping with you, holding you, and beginning the slow, beautiful work of redemption.
Stay rooted. Stay honest. Stay near to the God who brings beauty from ashes, not because “everything happens for a reason”, but because His love is bigger than every reason we will ever understand.
