Mending the Soul Review by Brenda Ratcliff

Review by Brenda Ratcliff, Institute for Prison Ministries, Billy Graham Center, Wheaton College, Wheaton, IL

Copyrighted and posted by permission of the Christian Education Journal
Volume 5, Issue 2, pp. 463-466     May 2008

The CEJ website:  www.biola.edu/cej

As part of my work at the Institute for Prison Ministries, I am privileged to regularly teach at the local county jail. It has become quite common, unfortunately, to hear stories of men and women who are survivors of an abusive relationship, be it in their family of origin, in an intimate relationship, in the workplace, church, or correctional facility.Their stories are heartbreaking, but the real tragedy is that they often believe they are responsible for the abuse and that they somehow deserve it. Their lives are broken, marred by violence, addiction, rejection, and alienation from their Creator. As a society, we tend to marginalize groups that are different from us (such as the incarcerated) to create space between them and us and thus not have to feel the pain they experience. If they are not us, then we can feel better about us and attribute the pain of their lives to whatever defines them, be it ethnicity, criminal background, gender, socio-economic status, nationality, or something else. I confess that I too am guilty of this sin. I am confronted by the error of this assumption each time I hear a story that comes too close to home, such as the alcoholic inmate who was homeschooled until she was a freshman in high school or an exoffender who was the grandson of evangelists. A high percentage of those currently incarcerated once sat in our Sunday schools, attended our Christian colleges and youth groups, and worshiped the Savior we serve.“They” are us.

Statistics on the prevalence of abuse clearly demonstrate that it occurs frequently, across all socio-economic strata, and in all countries of the world. “Tragically, domestic violence in Christian homes appears to mirror the high rates of the general society” (14). And few Christian leaders are prepared to help; in fact, they often do more harm than good. Abused women who seek help from clergy often stay in the abusive relationship longer than those who seek help from secular counselors. “The unpleasant truth is that abuse has profound, wildly irrational consequences. It tears the soul” (23).Mending the Soul is a valuable resource for those who want to address this growing problem from a sound biblical perspective.

The book is divided into three sections dealing with the nature of abuse, its effects, and the healing path. Additionally, the author provides extensive footnotes throughout, as well as a number of appendices to assist Christian churches in screening potential workers, recognizing the warning signs of a potential abuser, and identifying Bible passages that address abuse.While this book is written on a lay level, it would serve well as a supplemental text or as the basis of a small group study and/or recovery group. It certainly is an invaluable resource for those involved in ministry, regardless of the context of that ministry, as abuse may occur by parents against children, children against parents in elder abuse, one spouse against the other, workplace abuse, and even religious abuse in the church. A workbook is available as a companion to this book for personal or group use (available from Mending the Soul Ministries at www.mendingthesoul.org). Day of Discovery, the television ministry of Radio Bible Class, recently featured the book’s author in a video series entitled When Love Hurts, Understanding and Healing Domestic Abuse, consisting of four half-hour segments that powerfully describe the consequences of abuse and the church’s role in providing a healing venue.

The author of Mending the Soul provides a comprehensive overview of the extent and power of abuse in the first chapter, citing multiple biblical examples of abuse. Chapter 2, the thesis chapter of the book, portrays abuse as a perversion of the image of God. Unlike the rest of creation, humans were made in God’s image and likeness. The author spends considerable time describing God’s image and how specific types of abuse pervert aspects of his image in an individual’s life. Sociological and psychological studies provide valuable insight into family systems and the origins of abuse and its effects. The architect of abuse is Satan, and the ultimate goal that he has in perpetuating it within society is alienation and isolation from God. It becomes quite clear in this chapter why God says that he hates the violent person (Psalm 11:5) and why he cares so passionately about both the victim and the perpetrator of abuse—he is jealous over his image.

Chapters 3 and 4 are devoted to providing a profile of an abuser and an abusive family. Aside from the value in knowing the specific characteristics of the individual perpetrator as well as the abusive family system, the real nuggets are the examples cited from Scripture. For example, the abusive family characteristics are underscored in the biblical account of the rape of Tamar. The exegesis of this difficult story and application to abusive family systems is powerful.

Part 2 of the book deals with the effects of abuse: shame (chapter 5), powerlessness and deadness (chapter 6), and isolation (chapter 7). In many ways, these three chapters illustrate the thesis found in chapter 2 that abuse perverts God’s image. “The aspect of God in which humans visibly demonstrate God’s attributes” (24) is distorted in the abuse victim and results in shame. The abuse victim sees Satan rather than God, and the impossible expectations and false perceptions this entails create the powerful defense mechanism of shame.

The functional aspect of God’s image “in which humans function as God’s representatives on earth” (25) is distorted “when humans . . . use their power to dominate rather than nurture” (25). This results in a sense of powerlessness and deadness on the part of the victim, the “walking dead” (95). The final aspect of God’s image—his relational aspect—is distorted when abuse occurs, and isolation on the part of the victim results.“Abuse often produces profound long-term relational impairment. Research clearly shows that abuse survivors are much more likely to be in unhealthy relationships” (111).

The final part of the book is devoted to the healing path that involves facing the brokenness (chapter 8), rebuilding intimacy with God (chapter 9) and forgiveness (chapter 10). The author provides a healing model that involves facing the truth of the abuse, telling the story, identifying the distortions, and reclaiming God’s original design, as well as repenting of deadness and mourning the loss that abuse inevitably brings. In chapter 9, he stresses the importance of reimaging the fatherhood of God in order to rebuild intimacy and connection. The final chapter deals with forgiveness. In the Christian community, we often focus on this first when confronted with an abuse situation. “Religious leaders and even family members are often quick to tell victims they must forgive, regardless of the circumstances of the abuse or the posture of the abuser” (181). But genuine, redemptive forgiveness is not possible until the truth of the offense is faced completely and acknowledged by all concerned. Too often forgiveness is used as a Band-Aid in circumstances that deserve major surgery. Deep forgiveness requires deep understanding of the effects of abuse.

Dr. Tracy’s background in theology and ethics, his skill at biblical exegesis, and his years of pastoral and counseling experience are evident throughout this book. He draws extensively on his own counseling experience as well as that of his wife, Celestia, for illustrations and stories.Additionally, the book includes numerous artistic and literary renderings created by abuse survivors that he and his wife have counseled. These pictures and poems add immeasurably to the narrative, highlighting aspects of the scars from abuse that cannot be captured by narrative alone.

Dr. Tracy’s review and understanding of current research in the social sciences is impressive, but it is his thorough understanding of Scripture and ability to communicate that understanding that makes this book an absolute “must” for every Christian educator’s shelf.Whether you are ministering on a college campus, in the board room of a non-profit, in the local church, or even in a correctional setting, this topic is one you are bound to face and one that requires a great deal of compassion, empathy, and skill. Abuse tears the soul, Dr. Tracy states, and as Christian educators, we are given the unique responsibility to minister God’s healing and mending. In order to do that effectively without inflicting more harm, we must be better equipped. In this reviewer’s opinion, this book stands heads above others that are currently available on this topic in helping to equip us to minister to the abuse victim as well as the perpetrator.